How to celebrate Mother’s Day every day to boost moms’ well-being
Hali Kil Simon | Fraser University
Mother’s Day is coming up soon, and many will be celebrating moms, grandmothers and other maternal figures in their lives.
Whether biological or adoptive, moms have an important hand in shaping our identities and guiding our moral compass throughout our childhoods.
Although Mother’s Day is an occasion to celebrate mothers, we don’t often hear about the considerable benefits this kind of appreciation can bring moms — benefits that can trickle down to the entire family.
Based on my research and those of other psychologists, here are some tips for celebrating moms on Mother’s Day, and every day, to enhance well-being for both moms and their loved ones.
Boost mom’s happiness and lower mom’s stress
Generally, mothers who feel valued and loved are happier and less stressed.
However, many can face challenges that increase stress and make them feel devalued. Many still contend with a lack of gender parity in the workplace and social pressure to be the perfect mother. In addition, feeling a lack of emotional connection with family members can translate to a lot of day-to-day stress for moms.
So what can families do to boost moms’ happiness? Psychology research suggests that Hallmark cards have it right — building a mother’s confidence by telling them that they’re an amazing mom or that they always know how to make the family feel better can be tremendously effective in enhancing moms’ happiness.
If you’re an adult living far away from your parents, don’t forget to call your mom. Compared to fathers, mothers generally report feeling more emotionally connected to their kids and more strongly identifying as a parent. A phone call or a chat over tea with their kids, no matter the age, can really boost a mom’s happiness.
Support for mothers isn’t limited to the family. Moms can also benefit from celebrating Mother’s Day with other sources of support, like friends. Instead of limiting Mother’s Day celebrations to a family affair, consider organizing a surprise dinner with mom’s close friends.
Kids benefit when mom feels happy
The benefits of celebrating moms also trickle down to their kids. Research shows that parents who feel more positive can better support their children’s mental health and social relationships within the family and beyond. For example, my research has found that moms who are less stressed are seen by their adolescent kids as being better at understanding the kids’ perspective.
Stress can also impact how attentive moms are to their family, which impacts kids’ development. In a recent study, my colleagues and I found that less stressed and more attentive moms can foster their children’s good coping skills by modelling how to effectively manage emotions.
When mothers feel positive, they have better interactions with their kids and their kids feel better. That means it’s important to send appreciation mom’s way every day, not just on Mother’s Day.
A day to celebrate grandmothers, too
Don’t forget grandma this Mother’s Day! Grandmothers have a bigger impact in shaping who you are than you might think. For example, research has shown that daughters’ and grandmothers’ attachment styles overlap by up to 75 per cent. This means that how you connect with your partner, best friend and kids may even be inherited from your grandma.
Despite their important role, grandparents often don’t get the appreciation they deserve. Psychologists have found that grandparents often feel more emotionally connected to their grandkids than the other way around. This suggests that for many grandmothers, that phone call or weekend visit can mean a lot more to them than grandkids realize.
By celebrating Mother’s Day with grandma, she may feel a greater sense of meaning in her family relationships which can improve her general happiness. Grandchildren could even improve their social skills when they have a positive and close relationship with their grandmothers.
Mothers are the main source of comfort and care for many families around the world, yet it’s easy to take them for granted most days across the year. While brunch and flowers on Mother’s Day is surely appreciated, let’s celebrate moms every day. Helping moms feel happy will help the family feel happy, too.
Hali Kil, Assistant Professor, Psychology, Simon Fraser University
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license.
